Breath is the first thing we take upon entering this world, and the last thing we release when departing.

Breathing is always with us, whether we notice it or not. It keeps moving in all its quiet glory—until it doesn’t. Think about the last time you held your breath underwater. That creeping panic? That’s your body demanding oxygen.

It seems obvious once you notice, but the quality of your breath directly influences the quality of your life. Zen monks and yogis have known this for thousands of years.

The next time you feel panicked, flustered, or angry, check in with your breath. You’ll likely find it fast and shallow, high in your chest. This signals your sympathetic nervous system—your fight-or-flight response—preparing you for danger. When it’s chronically activated, it can lead to a host of issues: digestive problems, sleep disturbances, muscle tension, and even sexual dysfunction.

In nature, this response kept our ancestors alive. But in modern life, we’re bombarded by triggers: notifications, deadlines, doomscrolling, and constant comparison. None of these are truly life-threatening, but your nervous system doesn’t know the difference.

The antidote is activating your parasympathetic nervous system—rest-and-digest mode. This is where your body relaxes, heals, and functions at its best. Practices like deep abdominal breathing, yoga, and meditation help shift you into this state. Over time, these practices have helped me peel back the layers in my own life and improve my relationships. If you know me, you know I’m still a work in progress—this isn’t about perfection.

Before suggesting yoga or meditation, here’s a simple method I use to reset:

• Slowly exhale all the air from your body using your abdomen. Keep going until you feel empty.
• Pause briefly.
• Let your stomach expand as air flows back in effortlessly.
• Repeat up to 10 times.

From here, just follow your breath in a simple, natural rhythm. Don’t force it—just notice it moving in and out as your stomach and chest expand and contract. Let it be what it is.

Try this when you start your car, walk into a room, begin a task, or feel stress creeping in. Many Zen practitioners recommend just three breaths as a reset, but staying connected to your breath throughout the day brings even more clarity.

I keep a mindfulness bell on my phone that reminds me every half hour: pause and breathe. Just three deep breaths. Try this for a week. See what shifts.