This week, Thanksgiving is upon us.

Having lived in California for more than two decades, including four years in San Francisco, I understand that the holiday carries a complicated history for many. But for the sake of our own wellbeing, let’s set that aside for a moment and focus on the underlying message: gratitude. We all know how difficult it can be to keep gratitude top of mind once we sit down at the table, no matter what tradition we follow.

For some, Thanksgiving means gathering with family. Others host a Friendsgiving, gathering people who feel like family. In either case, you’ll likely encounter a mix of perspectives and personalities. Friction has become almost expected in holiday conversations. We often pause briefly to express something we’re grateful for, then quickly slip back into our usual patterns. Before long, our minds start racing again.

But what if we stayed with our gratitude a little longer? What if we allowed it to shift a moment of tension into appreciation?

You don’t have to speak your gratitude out loud for it to matter. Start small. Start inward. Sit with your breath and appreciate the simple fact that you’re alive, supported by conditions you rarely notice. There will come a time when each person around your table will no longer walk this earth, so being present now is its own act of love.

Feel the richness of breathing clean air into your lungs. That air exists because of trees and vegetation, which rely on the carbon dioxide we exhale. Instantly, we’re reminded of how interconnected we are—how we participate in the cycle of life without even trying.

Now bring your awareness to your body. Notice your heart, working tirelessly to keep you alive. We take these miracles for granted, but our existence is a delicate balance. Life is fragile.

Even the vegetables we prepare for our meal required countless conditions to grow—sunlight, water, nutrients in the soil. A tiny seed becoming something nourishing is its own quiet wonder. As you slice a potato, feel its texture. These small moments remind us that gratitude can be found anywhere, even in preparation.

Zooming out further, our entire lives are the result of millennia of events unfolding in just the right way. We live on a planet perfectly placed around a star 93 million miles away. Life on Earth has existed for at least 4.1 billion years, and we’re here for the briefest moment—aware, breathing, connecting.

When we understand how rare and temporary this all is, can we loosen our grip on our differences?
Can we appreciate the simple fact that we get to have these interactions at all?

Life is a blessing for many of us—messy, imperfect, and extraordinary all at once.

There will always be differing perspectives, but the constant behind all of it is the miracle of life itself. Don’t take it for granted. Slow down. Find gratitude. It spreads.